So saith the bullying anonymous note left by some j-hole on my windshield.

You know what I say to that?  Learn how to parallel park or GO BACK TO THE FUCKING SUBURBS YOU JACKASS.

Oh, and “your” security?  Bring it, bitchez, bring it.

You know why?  ‘Cause there was a full 8 inches between your fender and mine, and OH RIGHT, it’s a public street.

[please note: I cannot stress enough that you should NOT read any of the above as containing a double-entendre]